You could hear the nervous tone in Haley's voice as she asked, "Aunt Heather, will you buy a Smart Card from me?"
Of course I did. As a matter of fact, I bought two. I remember how hard it was to sell items for school fundraisers, so I usually buy from my nieces and a few close friends. Over the past few years, I have bought boo coos of things, ranging from wrapping paper to candles. Not necessarily because I needed these items, but because of the relief and excitement in the child's eyes when I said yes. Plus, I am still a sucker for Girl Scout Cookies.
Harley and Haley always giggle when I tell them about my favorite school fundraiser. It was always one of the most fun weeks of school year and everyone seemed to look forward to it. Kids would save their money for it all year and it was totally more fun for the kids than selling Smart Cards.
The first day, the girls would bring in picnic lunches to sell. There were elaborate picnic baskets filled to the brim with foods that every pre-teen loves……..chips, soft drinks, cookies, sandwiches and even some with certificates for pizza that would be delivered later in the day. Anything was better than the cafeteria lunches! The boys would then bid auction-style on the picnic baskets in order to have lunch with the girl that brought that basket.
The kicker was, the boys didn't know which girl brought which basket. The girls would sneak their baskets in wrapped in sheets or bring them before school started. This eliminated the fundraiser from being a popularity contest and made the event more fun. A boy might bid on the food that they liked or a basket that he thought was from a certain girl……..and end up eating lunch with the girl that picked her nose.
One year, one of my friends decorated her basket with Coca-Cola items. This was hilarious because everyone knew that my family collected Coca-Cola memorabilia. Her basket went for a good sum of money, but the boy had to eat lunch with her instead of me. I remembered being thrilled with the boy that bought my basket. His locker may have been messy, but he was still cute! At least it wasn't the boy that snorted Pixie-Stix up his nose as recess.
Instead of picnic lunches, the boys sold their "legs". All the girls would assemble on the floor of the "little gym" and the boys would go behind the curtain on the stage. Tables were propped under the bottom of the stage curtain, so all you could see were the legs of the gangly junior high boys. The boys would dance around and be silly while, one by one, each set of "legs" were auctioned off to the highest bidding girl. In exchange, the boy had to do silly things for the girl for the rest of the school day. I was kind and only made "my boy" carry my books for me, but some of the girls were ruthless by making the boys wear makeup or skip instead of walk everywhere they went.
All in all, everything was in good fun and LOTS money was raised for a school functions. It would be considered totally politically incorrect in today's schools. Looking back, I think that it was a fantastic way for the school to raise money by playing off the raging hormones of pre-teen junior high kids…….and it makes for a great story to tell my nieces.
Sep 9, 2007
Sep 8, 2007
Sweet Success
"Just look at how proud he is of himself! It is almost like he is smiling. I didn't know that a dog could smile like that!"
"He has achieved GREATNESS, something that every dog strives for!"
"I do not understand why any dog would strive to smell like that."
"Are you kidding? This is the ultimate for him. Skunk scent is like the High Karate of dog colognes!"
"He has achieved GREATNESS, something that every dog strives for!"
"I do not understand why any dog would strive to smell like that."
"Are you kidding? This is the ultimate for him. Skunk scent is like the High Karate of dog colognes!"
Sep 7, 2007
There Is A Moral In Here Somewhere
I married a hypochondriac. Plain and simple. There is no other way to put it.
I learned early in our relationship not to mention if I was feeling ill. Well, I can say, "I am not feeling well." But, if I mention the body part that hurts, Kyle is screeching in pain within half an hour.
For example, if I tell Kyle that my stomach is upset, these are the thoughts that run through his head:
I hope that she is okay.
Maybe it is something that she ate.
Did I eat the same thing?
I hope that she doesn't have food poisoning.
What is that sharp pain in my side?
I have food poisoning!
Wait! We didn't eat the same thing.
What if the bacteria jumped from her plate to mine?
What if it is a tumor?
OH MY GOD, I HAVE A TUMOR AND I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!
This is honestly the way that he thinks. If he falls asleep on the couch, he has narcolepsy. If he has heartburn, he has gastro-esophageal reflux disease. On our honeymoon, he got bit by a mosquito and kept looking for signs of West Nile. Lord help us if we see a commercial with symptoms of a disease, because he has ALL of them. I am not exaggerating. I am sure that Penny or Caroline will back me up.
So, several years ago, my dentist gave me the bad news. My wisdom teeth had to be removed. I made the appointment with the oral surgeon and made arrangements for my parents to come stay with me. Then I called Kyle. I made sure to tell him that I was not hurting whatsoever, but I had to have the surgery.
The next day, his back right tooth was hurting. I, being the understanding, loving person that I am, completely laughed at him. This continued for four more days.
That weekend, I forced him to go to the Mexican restaurant because I was starving. I laughed as he ordered two soft tacos and grimaced during the entire meal. I kept telling him that it was just sympathy pains and that I wasn't hurting at all. It was all in his head.
So, while I am paying the bill, who does Kyle run into? The dental hygienist that works at his dentist office. I laughed as she took a tiny flashlight out of her purse and looked in his mouth in the waiting area of the restaurant! I will never forget the next words that she said.
"Yep, you have a problem! I will call Dr. Pace tonight. Can you be in the office tomorrow morning?"
So, needless to say, Kyle had emergency surgery on Super Bowl Sunday for a popcorn husk that got stuck behind his back tooth. He had a horrible abscess and I had been laughing at him for five days.
I felt like a giant turd.
Things have gotten a little better though. He laughs at himself now. I have learned that if I baby him a little, then he gets over his "symptoms" much quicker, but if I giggle at him, it could mean a trip to the emergency room.
Heaven help the man when we have a baby!
I learned early in our relationship not to mention if I was feeling ill. Well, I can say, "I am not feeling well." But, if I mention the body part that hurts, Kyle is screeching in pain within half an hour.
For example, if I tell Kyle that my stomach is upset, these are the thoughts that run through his head:
I hope that she is okay.
Maybe it is something that she ate.
Did I eat the same thing?
I hope that she doesn't have food poisoning.
What is that sharp pain in my side?
I have food poisoning!
Wait! We didn't eat the same thing.
What if the bacteria jumped from her plate to mine?
What if it is a tumor?
OH MY GOD, I HAVE A TUMOR AND I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!
This is honestly the way that he thinks. If he falls asleep on the couch, he has narcolepsy. If he has heartburn, he has gastro-esophageal reflux disease. On our honeymoon, he got bit by a mosquito and kept looking for signs of West Nile. Lord help us if we see a commercial with symptoms of a disease, because he has ALL of them. I am not exaggerating. I am sure that Penny or Caroline will back me up.
So, several years ago, my dentist gave me the bad news. My wisdom teeth had to be removed. I made the appointment with the oral surgeon and made arrangements for my parents to come stay with me. Then I called Kyle. I made sure to tell him that I was not hurting whatsoever, but I had to have the surgery.
The next day, his back right tooth was hurting. I, being the understanding, loving person that I am, completely laughed at him. This continued for four more days.
That weekend, I forced him to go to the Mexican restaurant because I was starving. I laughed as he ordered two soft tacos and grimaced during the entire meal. I kept telling him that it was just sympathy pains and that I wasn't hurting at all. It was all in his head.
So, while I am paying the bill, who does Kyle run into? The dental hygienist that works at his dentist office. I laughed as she took a tiny flashlight out of her purse and looked in his mouth in the waiting area of the restaurant! I will never forget the next words that she said.
"Yep, you have a problem! I will call Dr. Pace tonight. Can you be in the office tomorrow morning?"
So, needless to say, Kyle had emergency surgery on Super Bowl Sunday for a popcorn husk that got stuck behind his back tooth. He had a horrible abscess and I had been laughing at him for five days.
I felt like a giant turd.
Things have gotten a little better though. He laughs at himself now. I have learned that if I baby him a little, then he gets over his "symptoms" much quicker, but if I giggle at him, it could mean a trip to the emergency room.
Heaven help the man when we have a baby!
Sweet Carolina Tagged Me
The rules are: once you have been tagged you can't be re-tagged. You have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end of the blog, you chose 10 people to be tagged and list names. Don't forget to leave a comment on the 10 people's page that says, "you are tagged", and to read you latest blog
So ok here it goes...........
10. My dad sent me on every date with a quarter, because that is all the money that a girl needs…..in case she needs to call her dad to come pick her up.
9. I surprised myself the other night by watching a Justin Timberlake concert on HBO. I have come to the conclusion, that although I think he is butt-ugly, he IS bringing sexy back…..from a distance.
8. I am hooked on the show Big Brother. I even watch the After Dark show on Showtime every night. It is my form of crack for the summer months.
7. I have a floater in my right eye and it drives me crazy!
6. My favorite roommates in college were Julie Thorpe Gray and her 150 lb. great dane. The police were after a peeping-tom in our neighborhood, but for some reason Julie and I never had a problem.
5. I know when I have had too much to drink when I can't feel the tip of my nose.
4. I love cleaning my ears out with a q-tip. (Megan and Ethan, your mom and I have had numerous debates about this.)
3. My biggest pet peeve is when people let their mouth just hang open, AKA "mouth breathers". What are they trying to do? Catch flies? That has to lower your IQ by at least 100 points.
2. I was once accidentally locked inside The Limited, locked inside the mall…….on Christmas Eve.
1. I shut my brother's head in a car door once, but it was HIS FAULT!!
There was my top 10 so now I get to tag people. I am tagging Shanna, Allison, Matt & Jennifer, David (you need to start blogging!) and anyone who wants to give it a try. Get busy!!
So ok here it goes...........
10. My dad sent me on every date with a quarter, because that is all the money that a girl needs…..in case she needs to call her dad to come pick her up.
9. I surprised myself the other night by watching a Justin Timberlake concert on HBO. I have come to the conclusion, that although I think he is butt-ugly, he IS bringing sexy back…..from a distance.
8. I am hooked on the show Big Brother. I even watch the After Dark show on Showtime every night. It is my form of crack for the summer months.
7. I have a floater in my right eye and it drives me crazy!
6. My favorite roommates in college were Julie Thorpe Gray and her 150 lb. great dane. The police were after a peeping-tom in our neighborhood, but for some reason Julie and I never had a problem.
5. I know when I have had too much to drink when I can't feel the tip of my nose.
4. I love cleaning my ears out with a q-tip. (Megan and Ethan, your mom and I have had numerous debates about this.)
3. My biggest pet peeve is when people let their mouth just hang open, AKA "mouth breathers". What are they trying to do? Catch flies? That has to lower your IQ by at least 100 points.
2. I was once accidentally locked inside The Limited, locked inside the mall…….on Christmas Eve.
1. I shut my brother's head in a car door once, but it was HIS FAULT!!
There was my top 10 so now I get to tag people. I am tagging Shanna, Allison, Matt & Jennifer, David (you need to start blogging!) and anyone who wants to give it a try. Get busy!!
Sep 5, 2007
Putting Myself Out There
I have been blogging for a little over eight months and I didn't realize how much fun this could be! But apparently I haven't been blogging enough! I constantly get messages and comments from people that say, "Where is a new blog????" THIS THRILLS ME! People are actually reading them and want more???
The funny thing is, I get so many hits on my blog, but only a very select group of people leave a comment. So here is your chance……..
Who is out there? If you read this, please leave a comment so I can see who my readers actually are. I am very curious!
How am I doing so far? If you read my first post, you will know that I am very insecure about writing.
How can I improve? I would love a little constructive criticism.
Also, is there a subject that you want me to blog about? Do you know a good "Heather story" that I haven't written about yet?
Is there a question that you want to ask? I am opening up the Q&A forum, which could be kinda scary and fun!
Any comment would be appreciated.....good or bad.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
The funny thing is, I get so many hits on my blog, but only a very select group of people leave a comment. So here is your chance……..
Who is out there? If you read this, please leave a comment so I can see who my readers actually are. I am very curious!
How am I doing so far? If you read my first post, you will know that I am very insecure about writing.
How can I improve? I would love a little constructive criticism.
Also, is there a subject that you want me to blog about? Do you know a good "Heather story" that I haven't written about yet?
Is there a question that you want to ask? I am opening up the Q&A forum, which could be kinda scary and fun!
Any comment would be appreciated.....good or bad.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
Aug 27, 2007
Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner
Last week was rough on me to the point that I had a total and complete mental breakdown. Too many things had built up for way too long. To top things off, I was riding high on the estrogen train. I closed the door to my office and proceeded to flail into a sobbing heap on my desk.
I had enough. I didn't want to deal with the world or work or friends or relatives. All I wanted was a HOT shower, warm pajamas and my couch…..and maybe to watch Oprah. (This should tell you how bad things were, because I hate Oprah.) When my boss told me to take the afternoon off, I hit the door running.
I pulled myself together as the week progressed…….and then the bottom fell out on Saturday. Thank goodness this was the weekend that my fairy goddaughter was spending the night with me. Her giggle and smile were a much needed distraction.
Yesterday afternoon after I took Ava home, I fell on the couch in an emotional mess. My body ached and my eyes burned. All I wanted was to sit and feel sorry for myself, but my husband wouldn't let me pout for too long. He kicked into "girl-mode."
He sat beside me on the couch, held my feet, read me a book and babied the heck out of me. We watched my favorite television show and then he turned on Dirty Dancing and watched the whole darn movie without complaining!
Today at lunch, he met me at the house because he knew that I still wasn't feeling well. Told me to lie down, brought me a chicken sandwich, Coke and cold washcloth for my neck. He listened to me moan and groan……and I know that he will listen to the same stories tonight if I need to complain again.
I write some of the silly things that he says in my blogs, but the truth is, he keeps me laughing everyday…….no matter how bad my day is. He has a unique view of the world and I am glad that view includes me. I don't know what I would do without him.
He is my rock and my hope and my love.
* Please keep in mind that even some of my closest friends will not believe this blog. My husband is a rugged man that is usually covered in dirt and driving some kind of heavy machinery for the fun of it. He is not happy until his is covered in grease. He likes steak and potatoes. He cringes when I sing show tunes. He is hot-headed and leaves the toilet seat up for the fun of it. He uses double negatives on purpose to annoy me. I love him.
I had enough. I didn't want to deal with the world or work or friends or relatives. All I wanted was a HOT shower, warm pajamas and my couch…..and maybe to watch Oprah. (This should tell you how bad things were, because I hate Oprah.) When my boss told me to take the afternoon off, I hit the door running.
I pulled myself together as the week progressed…….and then the bottom fell out on Saturday. Thank goodness this was the weekend that my fairy goddaughter was spending the night with me. Her giggle and smile were a much needed distraction.
Yesterday afternoon after I took Ava home, I fell on the couch in an emotional mess. My body ached and my eyes burned. All I wanted was to sit and feel sorry for myself, but my husband wouldn't let me pout for too long. He kicked into "girl-mode."
He sat beside me on the couch, held my feet, read me a book and babied the heck out of me. We watched my favorite television show and then he turned on Dirty Dancing and watched the whole darn movie without complaining!
Today at lunch, he met me at the house because he knew that I still wasn't feeling well. Told me to lie down, brought me a chicken sandwich, Coke and cold washcloth for my neck. He listened to me moan and groan……and I know that he will listen to the same stories tonight if I need to complain again.
I write some of the silly things that he says in my blogs, but the truth is, he keeps me laughing everyday…….no matter how bad my day is. He has a unique view of the world and I am glad that view includes me. I don't know what I would do without him.
He is my rock and my hope and my love.
* Please keep in mind that even some of my closest friends will not believe this blog. My husband is a rugged man that is usually covered in dirt and driving some kind of heavy machinery for the fun of it. He is not happy until his is covered in grease. He likes steak and potatoes. He cringes when I sing show tunes. He is hot-headed and leaves the toilet seat up for the fun of it. He uses double negatives on purpose to annoy me. I love him.
Barking Up The Wrong Tree
I hate laundry. Ask any woman and I think that they would agree with me.
It isn't the actual laundry that I hate. I don't mind doing loads of laundry and I don't mind folding it. I just don't want to put it away. Strange, I know.
Anyway, a couple of weekends ago, I put in the final load and tossed the empty clothes basket out into the hallway. Jake went crazy barking.
Now if you have read any of my previous blogs, this will come as no surprise. Jake barks at everything, especially the ceiling fan. He hates that darn ceiling fan. The way that it just turns and blows cool air…….that is just wrong! But I had never seen him bark at the laundry basket before. I died laughing.
When Kyle came in from outside, I brought the laundry basket out into the living room so that he could get a good laugh at Jake too. As soon as I put it in the middle of the floor, Jake went crazy snarling and growling. The hair on the back of his neck stood up.
"Why in the world do you think that he is scared of a laundry basket???" I laughed.
"I don't think that he has ever seen an EMPTY laundry basket before." My husband replied.
**************
Happy Birthday Jake! It has been one year since you came to live with us! You have brightened our lives with your snuggles and puppy humor!
We found Jake at the Lincoln County Humane Society on www.PetFinder.com . I urge anyone that is looking to adopt a pet, to please RESCUE an animal instead of buying one. There are lots of animals that don't find a home and are destroyed. Jake was over a year old when we adopted and he came from an abusive past. He had a slim chance of survival. Placed into a loving home, he has become a wonderful pet and best friend to Elwood. We all love him dearly.
It isn't the actual laundry that I hate. I don't mind doing loads of laundry and I don't mind folding it. I just don't want to put it away. Strange, I know.
Anyway, a couple of weekends ago, I put in the final load and tossed the empty clothes basket out into the hallway. Jake went crazy barking.
Now if you have read any of my previous blogs, this will come as no surprise. Jake barks at everything, especially the ceiling fan. He hates that darn ceiling fan. The way that it just turns and blows cool air…….that is just wrong! But I had never seen him bark at the laundry basket before. I died laughing.
When Kyle came in from outside, I brought the laundry basket out into the living room so that he could get a good laugh at Jake too. As soon as I put it in the middle of the floor, Jake went crazy snarling and growling. The hair on the back of his neck stood up.
"Why in the world do you think that he is scared of a laundry basket???" I laughed.
"I don't think that he has ever seen an EMPTY laundry basket before." My husband replied.
**************
Happy Birthday Jake! It has been one year since you came to live with us! You have brightened our lives with your snuggles and puppy humor!
We found Jake at the Lincoln County Humane Society on www.PetFinder.com . I urge anyone that is looking to adopt a pet, to please RESCUE an animal instead of buying one. There are lots of animals that don't find a home and are destroyed. Jake was over a year old when we adopted and he came from an abusive past. He had a slim chance of survival. Placed into a loving home, he has become a wonderful pet and best friend to Elwood. We all love him dearly.
Aug 19, 2007
Whisper Sweet Nothings To Me
At the point where the hero realizes that he is in love with the girl that he has overlooked for the entire movie:
"See, that girl is who I would have gone for the entire time."
"You would have gone for the nerdy girl first?"
"Well, not really nerdy, but the quiet one, like you."
"Do you think that I am quiet???"
"Well, you acted like you had some sense."
"Thanks babe, you know how to make me feel special."
"See, that girl is who I would have gone for the entire time."
"You would have gone for the nerdy girl first?"
"Well, not really nerdy, but the quiet one, like you."
"Do you think that I am quiet???"
"Well, you acted like you had some sense."
"Thanks babe, you know how to make me feel special."
Aug 17, 2007
Lucifer is My Neighbor
I have come to the realization that I am living in hell. Contrary to popular belief, this is not because I am in the midst of planning a yard sale, but because of the draught that has hit the Bible belt. Well, actually this heat wave is hitting below the Bible belt.
For the last couple of weeks, the temperature has skyrocketed into the triple digits in Tennessee. Yesterday the thermometer at the bank read 110 degrees, but I know that it had to be at least 172. I swear that I burned my hand on my steering wheel when I got in my car.
My air conditioner struggles to keep up after the "Curse of Caroline" hit it earlier this year. My plants scream for water, but the ground sucks up the water too quickly. The grass that we sewed in the front yard is starting to dry to the point that Kyle hasn't had to mow in weeks. I haven't seen him happier since I brought home the new cable box.
The heat hits you like a ton of bricks as soon as you open the door. By the time that I reach the steps on my front porch, I can feel my skin sizzle and my body start to melt. One of my fingers fell off yesterday.
The sun blares so much that I have to squint. My eyes just really don't enjoy the squint and the wrinkles around my eyes are far too progressed for my age.
But there is relief in sight! The weather man is forecasting a break to the heat wave next week……..when the high is only going to be 98!
I am really looking forward to February.
For the last couple of weeks, the temperature has skyrocketed into the triple digits in Tennessee. Yesterday the thermometer at the bank read 110 degrees, but I know that it had to be at least 172. I swear that I burned my hand on my steering wheel when I got in my car.
My air conditioner struggles to keep up after the "Curse of Caroline" hit it earlier this year. My plants scream for water, but the ground sucks up the water too quickly. The grass that we sewed in the front yard is starting to dry to the point that Kyle hasn't had to mow in weeks. I haven't seen him happier since I brought home the new cable box.
The heat hits you like a ton of bricks as soon as you open the door. By the time that I reach the steps on my front porch, I can feel my skin sizzle and my body start to melt. One of my fingers fell off yesterday.
The sun blares so much that I have to squint. My eyes just really don't enjoy the squint and the wrinkles around my eyes are far too progressed for my age.
But there is relief in sight! The weather man is forecasting a break to the heat wave next week……..when the high is only going to be 98!
I am really looking forward to February.
Aug 12, 2007
I Wish I May, I Wish I Might
"I wish that Graves beats Mayfield in football this year."
"I wish I win the lottery!"
"I wish that we had ice cream right now."
There must have been over one hundred wishes made that night. It was early August of 1994 and I was seventeen years old. I was young and naive and full of untarnished hopes and dreams. I made several wishes myself; hoping that my senior year in high school would be fantastic and that I could do well enough to get a great scholarship.
There were four of us lying on our backs in a friend's driveway, the blacktop still warm from the hot August sun. Gorgeous shooting stars were streaking the sky in the wee hours of the morning. It was the first time that I remember watching the Perseid meteor shower.
My mind drifted back to that night as I watched a shooting star light up last night's sky. My wishes are different now, a little more 'grown-up'. I look forward to making more tonight.
Tonight is the peak of the annual Perseid meteor shower. For the past couple of years we have either had a full moon or cloudy weather, but this year is perfect. There is a new moon, so the sky will be dark and clear. I urge you to sit outside tonight and do a little star gazing. It is truly magical.
I hope all your wishes come true.
"I wish I win the lottery!"
"I wish that we had ice cream right now."
There must have been over one hundred wishes made that night. It was early August of 1994 and I was seventeen years old. I was young and naive and full of untarnished hopes and dreams. I made several wishes myself; hoping that my senior year in high school would be fantastic and that I could do well enough to get a great scholarship.
There were four of us lying on our backs in a friend's driveway, the blacktop still warm from the hot August sun. Gorgeous shooting stars were streaking the sky in the wee hours of the morning. It was the first time that I remember watching the Perseid meteor shower.
My mind drifted back to that night as I watched a shooting star light up last night's sky. My wishes are different now, a little more 'grown-up'. I look forward to making more tonight.
Tonight is the peak of the annual Perseid meteor shower. For the past couple of years we have either had a full moon or cloudy weather, but this year is perfect. There is a new moon, so the sky will be dark and clear. I urge you to sit outside tonight and do a little star gazing. It is truly magical.
I hope all your wishes come true.
Aug 5, 2007
Some of the Many Reasons I Have Not Blogged
Picked four quarts of blackberries with my neighbor
Played with my fairy goddaughter until I was completely exausted. (She is Sweet Carolina's REAL goddaughter, I am just a godmother of the fairy kind.)
Finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Ate all aforementioned blackberries
Cried for Harry Potter and his friends
Made fun of Sweet Carolina because she was crying while reading Harry Potter
Participated in a wonderful book club dinner. Thanks Penny, Molly, Erin, Jayme and Sweet Carolina. (Tobi and Em – we will have one for you soon!)
Successfully stated the word Horcruxs after two strawberry margaritas
Made two batches of salt pickles
Made myself sick by eating too many salt pickles
Cleaned out one of my closets
Officially decided that I have too many clothes and decided to have a yard sale
Went swimming with my nieces
Cancelled my Netflix account (Not because of Kyle's morals.)
Sung the ABCs to Ava too many times to count
Found some childhood friends on Myspace
Ate the best steak that I have ever eaten........grilled by my husband who is a culinary genius!
Missed my college roommate when she emailed me pictures of her new baby
Switched cable plans allowing my husband to fast forward through commercials and giving him access to the aviation channel. He has a glazed look in his eyes and hasn't slept for days.
Cut and blonded my hair
Accidentally ran into the corner of my desk and later that day bumped into a large popcorn machine, leaving two large bruises. Just call me Grace!
Sat on a boat with drink in hand and sang Tom Petty at the top of my lungs
Made a killer black bean salsa
Enjoyed several days at the pool floating with the Queen Pins
Watched several good movies…….including Stealing Home which is one of my all time favorites. (1988 Mark Harmon and Jody Foster)
I have just been too busy enjoying my summer. I promise to blog more in the fall!
Played with my fairy goddaughter until I was completely exausted. (She is Sweet Carolina's REAL goddaughter, I am just a godmother of the fairy kind.)
Finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Ate all aforementioned blackberries
Cried for Harry Potter and his friends
Made fun of Sweet Carolina because she was crying while reading Harry Potter
Participated in a wonderful book club dinner. Thanks Penny, Molly, Erin, Jayme and Sweet Carolina. (Tobi and Em – we will have one for you soon!)
Successfully stated the word Horcruxs after two strawberry margaritas
Made two batches of salt pickles
Made myself sick by eating too many salt pickles
Cleaned out one of my closets
Officially decided that I have too many clothes and decided to have a yard sale
Went swimming with my nieces
Cancelled my Netflix account (Not because of Kyle's morals.)
Sung the ABCs to Ava too many times to count
Found some childhood friends on Myspace
Ate the best steak that I have ever eaten........grilled by my husband who is a culinary genius!
Missed my college roommate when she emailed me pictures of her new baby
Switched cable plans allowing my husband to fast forward through commercials and giving him access to the aviation channel. He has a glazed look in his eyes and hasn't slept for days.
Cut and blonded my hair
Accidentally ran into the corner of my desk and later that day bumped into a large popcorn machine, leaving two large bruises. Just call me Grace!
Sat on a boat with drink in hand and sang Tom Petty at the top of my lungs
Made a killer black bean salsa
Enjoyed several days at the pool floating with the Queen Pins
Watched several good movies…….including Stealing Home which is one of my all time favorites. (1988 Mark Harmon and Jody Foster)
I have just been too busy enjoying my summer. I promise to blog more in the fall!
Jul 11, 2007
Netflix and God
"I just drop this in the mail and they will send the next movie on our list, right? So what happens if the movie gets lost in the mail and it never gets returned?"
"Well, there is a claim form on the website and you just fill it out. I think that Netflix gives you the benefit of the doubt the first time or two. I don't think that they charge you for the movies unless it becomes out of control."
A mischeivious smile broadened across my husband's face.
"So what would happen if this movie got lost in my DVD collection?"
"Well, dear, then it becomes a moral issue. On your judgment day, do you really want to stand in front of God and have Him question why you stole that movie?"
"I really think that God would say, 'Man, that is a GREAT movie. I would have kept it too!'"
"You are going to burn in hell."
"Okay, I will send it back."
"Well, there is a claim form on the website and you just fill it out. I think that Netflix gives you the benefit of the doubt the first time or two. I don't think that they charge you for the movies unless it becomes out of control."
A mischeivious smile broadened across my husband's face.
"So what would happen if this movie got lost in my DVD collection?"
"Well, dear, then it becomes a moral issue. On your judgment day, do you really want to stand in front of God and have Him question why you stole that movie?"
"I really think that God would say, 'Man, that is a GREAT movie. I would have kept it too!'"
"You are going to burn in hell."
"Okay, I will send it back."
Jun 6, 2007
An Addiction of the Worst Kind
My name is Heather and I have a problem. I am an addict……there, I said it. Actually, I never tried to hide it. I will talk about it to anyone that will listen……..but only a few close friends really understand. Few people know the depths of my problem.
I am a Potterphile.
It all started over seven years ago when Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was being released and the first movie was coming out. I didn't understand the media frenzy that was happening. A friend brought me Sorcerer's Stone and told me to read the first chapter. If I didn't like it, I could bring it back to her the next day. I called her at ten o'clock that night to tell her to bring me the next book. Before I knew it, I had purchased all the books myself. I couldn't keep borrowing the books to get my Potter-fix……..I HAD TO HAVE MY OWN! It is like crack….really!
I found myself standing in line at midnight when ever a new book was released……I am usually one of the only people without a child with me. I am that freak talking to your kids with words that you don't even understand…..like muggle, animagi and gillyweed. (See…my spell check even thinks I am crazy!) I am usually well into the first chapter while standing in line to buy it.
I am not the only Potterphile around Dickson. I called a friend when Half-Blood Prince was released and she didn't even say hello…..she just screamed "I'll call you back tomorrow! I am only on chapter 10!" She called back the next day and we met at the Mexican restaurant to discuss…….there is nothing like trying to pronounce "Slytherian" after a couple of margaritas.
Currently I am counting down the days until the release of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. (Just in case you are wondering it is 44 days, 2 hours and 19 minutes.) I am rereading all the books again, just to refresh my memory…since I haven't had a HP fix in a while. Plus, I have a few friends that are reading the books for the first time and I want to read along with them……I think I have turned a few more people onto my drug of choice.
Deathly Hallows will be the last Harry Potter book. This breaks my heart, but I am excited to finally get all of my questions answered. Will the prophecy really be fulfilled? Why is it important the Harry has his mother's eyes? What and where are all the other Horcruxes? And for the love of Christmas..........who is R.A.B.????
Are there any other Potterphiles out there??? Are you as excited as I am??? If so, maybe we can start a support group……I think I need help!
I am a Potterphile.
It all started over seven years ago when Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was being released and the first movie was coming out. I didn't understand the media frenzy that was happening. A friend brought me Sorcerer's Stone and told me to read the first chapter. If I didn't like it, I could bring it back to her the next day. I called her at ten o'clock that night to tell her to bring me the next book. Before I knew it, I had purchased all the books myself. I couldn't keep borrowing the books to get my Potter-fix……..I HAD TO HAVE MY OWN! It is like crack….really!
I found myself standing in line at midnight when ever a new book was released……I am usually one of the only people without a child with me. I am that freak talking to your kids with words that you don't even understand…..like muggle, animagi and gillyweed. (See…my spell check even thinks I am crazy!) I am usually well into the first chapter while standing in line to buy it.
I am not the only Potterphile around Dickson. I called a friend when Half-Blood Prince was released and she didn't even say hello…..she just screamed "I'll call you back tomorrow! I am only on chapter 10!" She called back the next day and we met at the Mexican restaurant to discuss…….there is nothing like trying to pronounce "Slytherian" after a couple of margaritas.
Currently I am counting down the days until the release of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. (Just in case you are wondering it is 44 days, 2 hours and 19 minutes.) I am rereading all the books again, just to refresh my memory…since I haven't had a HP fix in a while. Plus, I have a few friends that are reading the books for the first time and I want to read along with them……I think I have turned a few more people onto my drug of choice.
Deathly Hallows will be the last Harry Potter book. This breaks my heart, but I am excited to finally get all of my questions answered. Will the prophecy really be fulfilled? Why is it important the Harry has his mother's eyes? What and where are all the other Horcruxes? And for the love of Christmas..........who is R.A.B.????
Are there any other Potterphiles out there??? Are you as excited as I am??? If so, maybe we can start a support group……I think I need help!
May 10, 2007
Praying That I Don't Burn Myself
I have to bake tonight……..this scares the chocolate out of me.
Okay, so I am not that bad of a baker……I just don't have much experience. I don't bake, because I don't have too. Granny Garton and her sisters are the queens of baking. Their made-from-scratch-so-much-butter-you-will-have-a-heart-attack-crust is nothing to compete with. Why in the world would I ever bake something when it will just look and taste like a cow pie next to their exquisite homemade confectionary creations?
Their recipes actually call for REAL ingredients……vanilla extract, unbleached all-purpose flour, baking soda, etc. My view on cooking follows a more modern approach…….I approach the directions on the box of cake mix, add eggs and milk and pray that I don't burn it. I have found the up-do-date modern replacement for their fresh whipped cream-cheese icing or mile-high meringue…….icing in a spray can!!! You can write your name or spray directly in your mouth…… for the love of all things holy, why did they not have this when I was a child?????? (They probably did and my mother never let me know.)
The real reason that I am baking is my company is having a hamburger cookout as a fundraiser for our Relay For Life team. Relay For Life is very important to us, as we have had many employees touched by cancer this year. We take this event very seriously and want to raise as much money as possible for the event.
Please drop by after work tomorrow and start your weekend off right! With every plate of food that you buy, you receive a FREE warm fuzzy feeling that you did something nice for your community and to help raise a few dollars for a great cause…….oh, and every plate also comes with a raffle ticket for some great door prizes…….especially if you like tools.
So come grab a plate and hang out with me a while! I promise that I won't make you eat anything that I make!
Okay, so I am not that bad of a baker……I just don't have much experience. I don't bake, because I don't have too. Granny Garton and her sisters are the queens of baking. Their made-from-scratch-so-much-butter-you-will-have-a-heart-attack-crust is nothing to compete with. Why in the world would I ever bake something when it will just look and taste like a cow pie next to their exquisite homemade confectionary creations?
Their recipes actually call for REAL ingredients……vanilla extract, unbleached all-purpose flour, baking soda, etc. My view on cooking follows a more modern approach…….I approach the directions on the box of cake mix, add eggs and milk and pray that I don't burn it. I have found the up-do-date modern replacement for their fresh whipped cream-cheese icing or mile-high meringue…….icing in a spray can!!! You can write your name or spray directly in your mouth…… for the love of all things holy, why did they not have this when I was a child?????? (They probably did and my mother never let me know.)
The real reason that I am baking is my company is having a hamburger cookout as a fundraiser for our Relay For Life team. Relay For Life is very important to us, as we have had many employees touched by cancer this year. We take this event very seriously and want to raise as much money as possible for the event.
Please drop by after work tomorrow and start your weekend off right! With every plate of food that you buy, you receive a FREE warm fuzzy feeling that you did something nice for your community and to help raise a few dollars for a great cause…….oh, and every plate also comes with a raffle ticket for some great door prizes…….especially if you like tools.
So come grab a plate and hang out with me a while! I promise that I won't make you eat anything that I make!
May 1, 2007
Hairy Cheese and Green Algae
Spring has sprung at Casa de Garton. Sprung to the point that I am thinking about cleaning……really, no kidding.
The weather is beautiful and hovers around 80 degrees on the hottest day. I, of course, have flung open the windows to allow fresh air to flow through the house and remove that winter-time stench. I love this weather. I love fresh clean spring time air…..it makes me long for the smell of Mr. Clean, Windex and Pledge.
I actually cleaned my refrigerator this weekend. Now, I am not talking about pulling out Tupperware containers that I forgot I owned or throwing out cheese that has hair……I scrubbed the darn refrigerator. I pulled shelves and drawers out and soaked them in Mr. Clean. I cleaned nooks and crannies that I didn't even know were there. I defrosted the freezer and emptied and cleaned the ice maker (that hasn't worked in over a year, but still deserved to be cleaned).
The one thing that I am most excited about cleaning is not at my house. My neighbor has a swimming pool that has gone neglected. It wasn't covered during the winter month, the pump hasn't been on and there is lots of debris and other yucky slimy creepy stuff in the murky water. It is so neon green with algae that I am surprised that it doesn't glow at night. Any frog, snake or swampy animal would find it cozy.
So, after about two margaritas and a little encouragement from Sweet Carolina, I called my neighbor (who doesn't live there and he is trying to sell the house). He didn't answer, so I left the following message on his voice mail:
"Hi Joe, it is Heather from next door. Say, I know what would help your house sell much faster. I think that you really need to get your pool back in shape. I will be happy to help and then I could maintain it since you aren't here. Every once in a while, I could even jump in to check the water temperature and make sure that the buoyancy of floats is top-notch. Let me know what you think!"
Joe called back the next day and told me to do whatever I wanted with the pool…….whatever I wanted with the pool!! I HAVE A POOL FOR THE SUMMER! Or at least until his house sells. Now I just have to figure out how to get the darn thing from neon green to crystal clear and sparkling. I am sure that I can handle it…….I got a B in college chemistry. I am going to shock it tonight and get the filter and pump working again. I will be scrubbing the sides and vacuuming the bottom this weekend, if anyone feels the need to get slimy with me.
YEE HAW!!!! I HAVE A POOL FOR THE SUMMER! If there are no more blog posts until October, you will know where to find me.
(As a side note, please keep Sweet Carolina in your prayers. Her air-conditioner broke last week and this 80 degree beautiful spring weather is just TOO MUCH for her to handle. She and her husband spent Sunday afternoon at our house in order to escape the burning depths of hell that their condo has become. She even abandoned her husband at the condo last night to go spend the night at her parent's house because she could feel the skin melting off her body. Please pray that the air conditioner man comes to visit her today….or I have a feeling that she is going to move into my guest room and force me to turn my air conditioner on full blast.)
The weather is beautiful and hovers around 80 degrees on the hottest day. I, of course, have flung open the windows to allow fresh air to flow through the house and remove that winter-time stench. I love this weather. I love fresh clean spring time air…..it makes me long for the smell of Mr. Clean, Windex and Pledge.
I actually cleaned my refrigerator this weekend. Now, I am not talking about pulling out Tupperware containers that I forgot I owned or throwing out cheese that has hair……I scrubbed the darn refrigerator. I pulled shelves and drawers out and soaked them in Mr. Clean. I cleaned nooks and crannies that I didn't even know were there. I defrosted the freezer and emptied and cleaned the ice maker (that hasn't worked in over a year, but still deserved to be cleaned).
The one thing that I am most excited about cleaning is not at my house. My neighbor has a swimming pool that has gone neglected. It wasn't covered during the winter month, the pump hasn't been on and there is lots of debris and other yucky slimy creepy stuff in the murky water. It is so neon green with algae that I am surprised that it doesn't glow at night. Any frog, snake or swampy animal would find it cozy.
So, after about two margaritas and a little encouragement from Sweet Carolina, I called my neighbor (who doesn't live there and he is trying to sell the house). He didn't answer, so I left the following message on his voice mail:
"Hi Joe, it is Heather from next door. Say, I know what would help your house sell much faster. I think that you really need to get your pool back in shape. I will be happy to help and then I could maintain it since you aren't here. Every once in a while, I could even jump in to check the water temperature and make sure that the buoyancy of floats is top-notch. Let me know what you think!"
Joe called back the next day and told me to do whatever I wanted with the pool…….whatever I wanted with the pool!! I HAVE A POOL FOR THE SUMMER! Or at least until his house sells. Now I just have to figure out how to get the darn thing from neon green to crystal clear and sparkling. I am sure that I can handle it…….I got a B in college chemistry. I am going to shock it tonight and get the filter and pump working again. I will be scrubbing the sides and vacuuming the bottom this weekend, if anyone feels the need to get slimy with me.
YEE HAW!!!! I HAVE A POOL FOR THE SUMMER! If there are no more blog posts until October, you will know where to find me.
(As a side note, please keep Sweet Carolina in your prayers. Her air-conditioner broke last week and this 80 degree beautiful spring weather is just TOO MUCH for her to handle. She and her husband spent Sunday afternoon at our house in order to escape the burning depths of hell that their condo has become. She even abandoned her husband at the condo last night to go spend the night at her parent's house because she could feel the skin melting off her body. Please pray that the air conditioner man comes to visit her today….or I have a feeling that she is going to move into my guest room and force me to turn my air conditioner on full blast.)
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