Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

Last week was rough on me to the point that I had a total and complete mental breakdown. Too many things had built up for way too long. To top things off, I was riding high on the estrogen train. I closed the door to my office and proceeded to flail into a sobbing heap on my desk.

I had enough. I didn't want to deal with the world or work or friends or relatives. All I wanted was a HOT shower, warm pajamas and my couch…..and maybe to watch Oprah. (This should tell you how bad things were, because I hate Oprah.) When my boss told me to take the afternoon off, I hit the door running.

I pulled myself together as the week progressed…….and then the bottom fell out on Saturday. Thank goodness this was the weekend that my fairy goddaughter was spending the night with me. Her giggle and smile were a much needed distraction.

Yesterday afternoon after I took Ava home, I fell on the couch in an emotional mess. My body ached and my eyes burned. All I wanted was to sit and feel sorry for myself, but my husband wouldn't let me pout for too long. He kicked into "girl-mode."

He sat beside me on the couch, held my feet, read me a book and babied the heck out of me. We watched my favorite television show and then he turned on Dirty Dancing and watched the whole darn movie without complaining!

Today at lunch, he met me at the house because he knew that I still wasn't feeling well. Told me to lie down, brought me a chicken sandwich, Coke and cold washcloth for my neck. He listened to me moan and groan……and I know that he will listen to the same stories tonight if I need to complain again.

I write some of the silly things that he says in my blogs, but the truth is, he keeps me laughing everyday…….no matter how bad my day is. He has a unique view of the world and I am glad that view includes me. I don't know what I would do without him.

He is my rock and my hope and my love.



* Please keep in mind that even some of my closest friends will not believe this blog. My husband is a rugged man that is usually covered in dirt and driving some kind of heavy machinery for the fun of it. He is not happy until his is covered in grease. He likes steak and potatoes. He cringes when I sing show tunes. He is hot-headed and leaves the toilet seat up for the fun of it. He uses double negatives on purpose to annoy me. I love him.

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

I hate laundry. Ask any woman and I think that they would agree with me.

It isn't the actual laundry that I hate. I don't mind doing loads of laundry and I don't mind folding it. I just don't want to put it away. Strange, I know.

Anyway, a couple of weekends ago, I put in the final load and tossed the empty clothes basket out into the hallway. Jake went crazy barking.

Now if you have read any of my previous blogs, this will come as no surprise. Jake barks at everything, especially the ceiling fan. He hates that darn ceiling fan. The way that it just turns and blows cool air…….that is just wrong! But I had never seen him bark at the laundry basket before. I died laughing.

When Kyle came in from outside, I brought the laundry basket out into the living room so that he could get a good laugh at Jake too. As soon as I put it in the middle of the floor, Jake went crazy snarling and growling. The hair on the back of his neck stood up.

"Why in the world do you think that he is scared of a laundry basket???" I laughed.

"I don't think that he has ever seen an EMPTY laundry basket before." My husband replied.


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Happy Birthday Jake! It has been one year since you came to live with us! You have brightened our lives with your snuggles and puppy humor!

We found Jake at the Lincoln County Humane Society on www.PetFinder.com . I urge anyone that is looking to adopt a pet, to please RESCUE an animal instead of buying one. There are lots of animals that don't find a home and are destroyed. Jake was over a year old when we adopted and he came from an abusive past. He had a slim chance of survival. Placed into a loving home, he has become a wonderful pet and best friend to Elwood. We all love him dearly.

Whisper Sweet Nothings To Me

At the point where the hero realizes that he is in love with the girl that he has overlooked for the entire movie:

"See, that girl is who I would have gone for the entire time."

"You would have gone for the nerdy girl first?"

"Well, not really nerdy, but the quiet one, like you."

"Do you think that I am quiet???"

"Well, you acted like you had some sense."

"Thanks babe, you know how to make me feel special."

Lucifer is My Neighbor

I have come to the realization that I am living in hell. Contrary to popular belief, this is not because I am in the midst of planning a yard sale, but because of the draught that has hit the Bible belt. Well, actually this heat wave is hitting below the Bible belt.

For the last couple of weeks, the temperature has skyrocketed into the triple digits in Tennessee. Yesterday the thermometer at the bank read 110 degrees, but I know that it had to be at least 172. I swear that I burned my hand on my steering wheel when I got in my car.

My air conditioner struggles to keep up after the "Curse of Caroline" hit it earlier this year. My plants scream for water, but the ground sucks up the water too quickly. The grass that we sewed in the front yard is starting to dry to the point that Kyle hasn't had to mow in weeks. I haven't seen him happier since I brought home the new cable box.

The heat hits you like a ton of bricks as soon as you open the door. By the time that I reach the steps on my front porch, I can feel my skin sizzle and my body start to melt. One of my fingers fell off yesterday.

The sun blares so much that I have to squint. My eyes just really don't enjoy the squint and the wrinkles around my eyes are far too progressed for my age.

But there is relief in sight! The weather man is forecasting a break to the heat wave next week……..when the high is only going to be 98!

I am really looking forward to February.

I Wish I May, I Wish I Might

"I wish that Graves beats Mayfield in football this year."

"I wish I win the lottery!"

"I wish that we had ice cream right now."

There must have been over one hundred wishes made that night. It was early August of 1994 and I was seventeen years old. I was young and naive and full of untarnished hopes and dreams. I made several wishes myself; hoping that my senior year in high school would be fantastic and that I could do well enough to get a great scholarship.

There were four of us lying on our backs in a friend's driveway, the blacktop still warm from the hot August sun. Gorgeous shooting stars were streaking the sky in the wee hours of the morning. It was the first time that I remember watching the Perseid meteor shower.

My mind drifted back to that night as I watched a shooting star light up last night's sky. My wishes are different now, a little more 'grown-up'. I look forward to making more tonight.

Tonight is the peak of the annual Perseid meteor shower. For the past couple of years we have either had a full moon or cloudy weather, but this year is perfect. There is a new moon, so the sky will be dark and clear. I urge you to sit outside tonight and do a little star gazing. It is truly magical.

I hope all your wishes come true.

Some of the Many Reasons I Have Not Blogged

Picked four quarts of blackberries with my neighbor

Played with my fairy goddaughter until I was completely exausted. (She is Sweet Carolina's REAL goddaughter, I am just a godmother of the fairy kind.)

Finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Ate all aforementioned blackberries

Cried for Harry Potter and his friends

Made fun of Sweet Carolina because she was crying while reading Harry Potter

Participated in a wonderful book club dinner. Thanks Penny, Molly, Erin, Jayme and Sweet Carolina. (Tobi and Em – we will have one for you soon!)

Successfully stated the word Horcruxs after two strawberry margaritas

Made two batches of salt pickles

Made myself sick by eating too many salt pickles

Cleaned out one of my closets

Officially decided that I have too many clothes and decided to have a yard sale

Went swimming with my nieces

Cancelled my Netflix account (Not because of Kyle's morals.)

Sung the ABCs to Ava too many times to count

Found some childhood friends on Myspace

Ate the best steak that I have ever eaten........grilled by my husband who is a culinary genius!

Missed my college roommate when she emailed me pictures of her new baby

Switched cable plans allowing my husband to fast forward through commercials and giving him access to the aviation channel. He has a glazed look in his eyes and hasn't slept for days.

Cut and blonded my hair

Accidentally ran into the corner of my desk and later that day bumped into a large popcorn machine, leaving two large bruises. Just call me Grace!

Sat on a boat with drink in hand and sang Tom Petty at the top of my lungs

Made a killer black bean salsa

Enjoyed several days at the pool floating with the Queen Pins

Watched several good movies…….including Stealing Home which is one of my all time favorites. (1988 Mark Harmon and Jody Foster)

I have just been too busy enjoying my summer. I promise to blog more in the fall!