Not Fun Anymore

Remember when I said that I wasn’t ready for Babybird to make his appearance? That I wasn’t ready to be finished being pregnant?

Well, that was all crap!

This baby is killing me. He has taken over my body and is inside secretly laughing at the pain that he is putting me through. He likes it in there. The nerve of him!

The only comfortable position that I can find is walking. Not standing or sitting or laying down……but constantly walking. I have easily walked a hundred miles since Saturday. Birddog and I walked around the county fair and I walked the mall and Target on Sunday.

Supposedly walking is supposed to help onset labor. I have come to believe that this is some crappy story that people make up to get you to exercise more before the baby comes. Walking doesn’t help anything…….except maybe I sleep a little better because I have worn myself out walking.

I have resorted to one thing that I know will make Babybird want to be born.…….I have made plans. Like plans IN ADVANCE. Plans that I will have to cancel if I go into labor.

Plan A: Bunko night is always the first Wednesday of every month. This plan totally backfired on me. I was really hoping that laughing really hard and all that table swapping would help to onset labor. No such luck. Although at one point I sat in a chair that had been outside and the cushion was wet. When I stood up, I thought “Can your water break and you not know it???” Apparently, I had the expression written all over my face and the ladies had a really good laugh at me.

Plan B: This plan totally fell through. I signed up for a women’s get together at church for Monday night. Several women were meeting at a pottery place in town to paint ceramics and discuss some of the small groups at church. I signed up a couple of weeks ago because I thought that it would be fun……..and I hoped that by making plans for something exciting, that Babybird would want to ruin it and arrive early. It didn’t work…….but I did meet some wonderful women and painted an elephant bank for the nursery. It hasn’t been fired yet, so I am not sure how it will look……pictures pending on cuteness.

Plan C: This plan should have been made weeks ago. I am scheduled with Penny to “get my hair did” on Saturday morning. No momma wants to have nasty dark roots in the pictures of her and her newborn. I hope that for pictures sake my hair is shampoo-commercial-beautiful by the time Babybird arrives……..but somewhere deep down inside, I really hope that I have to cancel.

Plan D: I finally gave in and purchased a dress for Birddog’s high school reunion that is this upcoming weekend. I have put this off hoping that I would have a legitimate reason not to go to the reunion. While I was walking around the mall on Sunday afternoon, I found a cute dress that doesn’t make me look like a blimp. Pro: it was on clearance. Con: Clearance items cannot be returned. I bought it anyway…….surely non-returnable merchandise will make Babybird want to move toward the light.

Plan E: I know what you are thinking. Don’t even suggest it. He won’t come near me. I freak him out a little right now.

Plan F: F stands for food. I bumped into my doctor at Target last weekend while I was walking myself to death. She laughed at me and said that she has heard that eggplant parmesan or really spicy Mexican food seems to work with some of her patients. I plan on eating at the Mexican restaurant every day next week. I will need volunteers to go with me, since Birddog has sworn off Mexican food.

How do you suggest that I coax Babybird into the world?
Does anybody want to walk?
Do you like Mexican food?